Chapter Text
~~~M&M: 1 week later~~~
Moxxie and Millie walk back into their apartment. “Careful, watch your step.” Moxxie tells her.
“Moxxie, I'm fine. Don't worry about me.” Millie says. “I've had worse.”
“You always say that, and it always concerns me.” Moxxie tells her as he helps her to the couch.
Not that she needed help, it was her shoulder that was hurt, not her leg.
Millie was finally home after a week of staying in the hospital, and Moxxie was insisting she rest some more? Hell no! She's done with that sh*t!
The doctors said she'd be just fine, she just has to give it time to heal but Moxxie of course was way more protective of her than they were…
It did make her feel so special though, when he fussed over her like this.
She loved it…
But now..?
“Can I get you something?” Moxxie asks her. “Anything?”
“I'm okay.” She says, looking up at Moxxie, wondering how to say what she needs to.
How does she start the conversation?
He's been avoiding it all week, telling her that he just wanted her to relax and not stress out.
“Okay…” Moxxie paused for a moment, Millie looking at him as he looked at her back with blinking eyes that spoke volumes. “No, actually I think I should get you something. Water? Food? Are you hungry? I know you hate hospital food, honestly who doesn't?” Moxxie asks. ”It's awful.”
“Mox-”
“I'll make you some dinner.” Moxxie says. “Anything you want? I can make spaghetti, or some-”
“Moxxie.” Millie interrupts him, a little louder.
Moxxie holds his arms, anxiety rising. “Yes?”
“We need to talk about it.” She says. “You can't avoid it forever, honey.”
Moxxie looks at the floor, acting oblivious. “Talk about what?”
“Why didn’t you just tell me, Moxxie? Was your dad right? Do you find it hard to trust me?” She asks. “Did I do something?”
Moxxie sighs, dropping his head. He hated to admit it…but she's right. They needed to talk about it. Especially if Millie is that worried.
He paced around the room for a second, trying to find the words…
“Millie…I do trust you, I trust you more than I trust myself! I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I didn't want to lie! You just…you have to understand, the hardest thing I ever had to do was be a kid. I had to live through all of that-that- bullsh*t constantly with a smile on my face!” The second he started explaining, it felt like a flood of emotions was escaping out of him and he couldn't stop it. “Nothing I did was good enough, my feelings were muted, my opinions didn’t matter; I was nothing but an accessory to them. I watched as everything I loved either died or betrayed me! I had to rely on bad people in order to survive long enough to live.”
Moxxie paused for a moment, looking away. “And I almost didn’t”
Millie looks at him with even more concern.
“And…My regression is a reflection on all of that trauma, all their lies. I try to be okay, I try to keep it all hidden deep down inside; but the kid inside keeps it all close in hopes there’s some good in it. He trusts the ones who hurt him the most! And I promised not to be like that but…”
“Mox-”
Tears fell down his face as he continued, his breathing rapid, and his movement showing panic by the way his arms shook while he kept swaying back and forth: “And if I regressed in front of you, I knew it would only show you how weak and broken I truly am! How much I didn't actually get over. I just wanted to be okay for you, Millie. I didn’t want to be your problem. I just wanted to be okay so we can be happy! So you wouldn't have to worry about me all the time! So you could…so you could be happy!”
Tears filled Millie’s eyes as she got up from her seat.
“I'm sorry I lied to you!” He cries, attempting to hold himself still. “I'm sorry I got you into this mess without telling you, giving you the choice or- at least an idea of what to expect! I never meant to hurt you! I swear I-”
Millie placed her good hand on his shoulder so he would look up at her. “Moxxie, it's okay! I’m okay, and you're okay. That’s all that matters- Look at me.” She says the moment he looks away. “You are not weak, Mox. You are so much stronger than you can ever see, or what they see. If anything, your regression proves that. It proves you’re a survivor, and a fighter. Do you hear me?” She asks.
Moxxie nods, tears falling down his own face, breathing still violent, but he's showing signs of relaxing.
“Baby, I’m here for you. You don’t have to worry about looking weak to me because you are the strongest person I know.” She says. “I don't know how you survived all of that…but I'm so proud of you, and I'm going to help you get through this, you're not alone anymore.”
Moxxie smiles. “Thanks for saying that, Millie. But, I'm not that strong…”
“You are strong. Why do you think I married you?” Millie asks him.
“You mean it wasn’t because I helped you win the mud fight against your siblings?” Moxxie asks, jokingly.
Millie chuckles. “That was pretty amazing, I will admit. But your emotional strength, your resilience, your heart…Mox, there's no one in this world like you, no one stronger or more deserving of love… It's a privilege to love you the way I get to.” She admits. “I am so happy with you. No matter what happens because I have you.”
Moxxie smiles, crying more now, this time for happier reasons.
Millie kisses him softly and then they hug each other again, this time staying that way in silence until his breathing is normal-er.
“There’s a lot we have left to discuss, you know?” Millie says to him.
Moxxie frowns and nods. “Yeah, I know.”
Millie sighs, breaking the hug to look at him. “Things…they have to change. We can't keep living like this- you can't keep living like this.”
Moxxie nods, looking away from her. “A lot has to change.” He says softly.
“What does that mean?” Millie asks him.
Moxxie shakes his head. “Don't worry about it. I just… There's a lot I need to re-evaluate.” He says.
Millie nods. “You've been through a lot…let's just focus on one thing at a time. Okay?” She asks. “You don't have to fix everything at once.”
Moxxie nods, he knows that's probably what he should be doing…
Focusing on getting better,
Focusing on therapy,
Focusing on coping…
But he needed to think of the others,
He needed to talk to Blitzø,
He needs to undo all the damage that's been done! How can he focus on himself if other people are still getting hurt?
“Moxxie?” Millie asks him, pulling him out of his thoughts.
He looks at her. “Yeah?”
“You're worth worrying about.” She says. “Please don't hide from me again.”
Moxxie nods, taking her hand. “I promise I won't.”
Millie smiles. “I don't know how to fix this…but we will figure it out. We will be okay. We're in this together.”
Moxxie nods again. “I know.”
“I love you.” Millie tells him, wrapping her good arm around him again. “So much.”
“I love you too.” He hugs her back tightly…
Never wanting to ever let go.
He's not sure what's next…
But she's here…
And so he knows everything will eventually be okay.
~~~Moxxie and Blitzø: The next day~~~
Blitzø was in his office, working on something on his laptop, determination and a hint of fear on his face.
Moxxie walked in without even bothering to knock…
“Moxxie? What- what are you doing here?” Blitzø asks him.
Didn't Millie just get home yesterday? Shouldn't he be with her?
“Sir, we need to talk.” Moxxie says, tone serious and straightforward.
“Mox, you're supposed to be at home taking it easy, not here.” Blitzø says. “You don't get back to work til-”
“This isn't about that.” Moxxie says. “I need to talk to you about something important…it can't wait another day.”
Blitzø looked at him with confusion, the smaller imp looked nervous about what he was about to say, but he sounded so determined. “Uh, okay? What's is it?”
Moxxie hesitates a moment…
‘Rip it off, like a bandaid, you got this.’ Moxxie tells himself. ‘Just say it!’
“I can’t keep working here if we're going to kill innocent people.” Moxxie admits fast.
“Excuse me?” Blitzø asks.
“I can't be like him, Blitzø! I can't keep killing people who don't deserve it.” Moxxie explains. “I need to know who we are killing from now on, and why. And if you have a problem with that, I will find somewhere else to work!”
Blitzø looks at him. “Are you done?” He asks.
Moxxie nods.
“Do you have any idea how much research I do on people before deciding to take a job?” Blitzø asks him.
Moxxie was taken aback by the question and defensiveness in Blitzø's tone. “No…I figured you didn't.” Moxxie admits.
“Well, you're wrong.” Blitzø says. “Maybe I don't do as much as you would but-” Blitzø looks away, knowing he really doesn't know much about most of the people they kill…but he doesn't feel it's necessary all the time! When there's a cheating spouse or avenging a death, how could they be innocent?
“But, what about the bride we killed?” Moxxie asks. “She was a mother, Blitzø! My mother died protecting me, Crimson killed her because she was trying to save me! She didn't deserve- why would you kill a mother, Blitzø?” he asks, starting to get emotional.
“The…” Blitzø gets up and grabs her file tightly and tosses it harshly in front of Moxxie to take it if he wants to.
Moxxie picks it up and looks through it while Blitzø speaks.
Blitzø explains. “We were hired by the woman’s father, she was an abusive parent who was called on by earth’s authorities several times and they did nothing about it. She was not an innocent person!”
Moxxie looks at Blitzø. “Sir-”
“The kid is with her dad now, He’s a much better person than she was. I know it's easy to project your problems, but some fathers are actually half decent. The mother is here in hell now…child abuse isn't really a heavenly thing I guess.” Blitzø says sarcastically and over the top.
Moxxie looks up at Blitzø. “Sir, I didn't mean t-”
“I’m not exactly picky about who we kill, but I don’t just kill anyone! My mother was killed too. I'm not as heartless as I wish I was.” He continues. “I help people get revenge on those who f*cked them over. I don’t tell you about them because you freak out about every little thing!”
“I’m sorry.” Moxxie says.
Blitzø stops and takes a deep breath.
Moxxie starts shaking a little. “I didn't mean to imply that you're not- I mean. I just thought that you- I understand we need to kill. I understand why you do what you do, and I didn't mean any dis-”
Blitzø gets a box of papers and hands it to Moxxie, interrupting his panicking and stuttering.
Moxxie takes it, confused and worried about what Blitzø was doing. “...Blitzø?”
Blitzø sits back down at his desk. “That is a list of people who wish to hire us… Look through them, and let me know which ones we're taking.” He instructs.
Moxxie blinks. “What?”
“I know you have the best intentions, you’re also the best judge of character around here. You’re the best person for the job.” Blitzø says.
“Really?” Moxxie asks.
Blitzø nods. “Yeah, I think it’s about time I gave you a more prominent role anyway. You built this business just as much as I did.”
Moxxie's eyes widen…almost not believing what he's hearing. “Thank you…sir.”
Blitzø doesn't respond, he only sits back down.
“Can I ask…What happened to her?” Moxxie asks before he can really think about what he's saying.
“Who?” Blitzø asks.
“Your mom.” Moxxie says. “You said she was killed too…what happened?”
Blitzø looks at Moxxie who just looks back at him, waiting for the answer to his question.
“She died in a fire…” Blitzø explains. “A fire I started.”
Moxxie's eyes widened.
“It wasn't intentional but…it was still my fault.” He admits.
Moxxie looks at him sympathetically. “Blitzø…I-”
Blitzø shakes his head. “I don't need sympathy, Moxxie.” He says. “It's just true, I destroy everything I touch. I tried to help you, and ended up hurting you in every way possible.” He admits.
Moxxie wanted to argue, but he then saw a tear fall down Blitzø's face…
He's never seen him cry…not like this at least…
“Mox…” Blitzø takes a second to consider what it was he wants to say next. “I know I haven't been a good friend to you, I've been downright awful, actually…and I know it, and I have known it. There is no excuse for it, and I'm not asking for forgiveness or trying to make you understand I don't deserve that, I just- I'm saying that…I'm sorry.” He says.
He speaks a little louder. “I do appreciate all that you do for this company, I see you and every improvement you make. This company would be nothing without you…I would be nothing without you!” He says seriously. “I almost lost you…and whether or not you believe I was to blame for that, I am. It was my fault…and I'm so f*cking sorry!” Blitzø says.
Moxxie nods, taking a step back, looking away from Blitzø. “You know…my mom died November 6th…I know that because every year she'd send me dimes.”
Blitzø listened, but didn't bother looking at Moxxie.
“Even after I moved in with you, I would find dimes every year, around the house or in the street…but one year I just- I couldn't find any.” He says. “I thought maybe she hated me, that she was disappointed that I didn't do what she wanted, that I became an assassin…”
Blitzø didn't understand why Moxxie brought this up, but listened anyway.
“But then I realized that…the dimes stopped because she knew I was going to be okay. I have Millie, I have you…She didn't need to worry about me. And even if I can never know for sure…I think she's just happy that I moved on.” He says. “I think…maybe yours would want the same thing?” He suggests.
Blitzø's eyes widened. “What?”
“You can hate yourself, you can dwell on all the stuff you should have done…but she would want you to be happy, she would want you to move on rather than feeling bad all the time. Focus on those you can love while you're here…like…Stolas. I mean, if he can love you half as much as Millie loves me…he's probably worth your time, right?” Moxxie asks.
Blitzø doesn't answer.
Moxxie looks away again. “Well, I guess I don't know that for sure but…I want that for you. I want you to be happy and move on…I want to see you as happy as you can be.”
Blitzø looked surprised, probably having no idea how much Moxxie really looked up to him.
“I'll see you in a couple of weeks, Sir.” Moxxie says.
Blitzø nods as Moxxie turns back to the door. He grips the handle…then pauses. “Blitzø?”
“Yeah?”
“You may not be asking for forgiveness…but you got it anyway. If that wasn't clear.” He says before exiting the office, leaving Blitzø alone.
Blitzø looks back up at the screen…
‘St.An's Hospital, rehab center.’
Blitzø knows that he's the last person she wants to see…
But someone has to tell her about Cash…
She needs to know the danger she might be in…
Besides, it can't hurt to try and make things right between them…can it?
~~~Crimson and Alessio:~~~
“Sir…? Can you hear me?” Alessio asks.
Crimson is laying on the motel bed, staring at the ceiling.
He's been asleep for a few days now, so it surprised Alessio to walk in and see him with his eyes open again.
“How many survived?” Crimson asks, not even looking at Alessio.
“56 sharks remain.” Al explains. “None of the littles were found, they must have escaped-”
“And…the kid?” Crimson interrupts him to ask.
“He escaped with his…friends.”
“Good.” Crimson says, looking down. “I want to be the one to end his life, not Blitzø.”
“Sir-” Alessio wasn't sure what he was going to say, but it didn't matter, because Crimson continued to speak.
“He'll pay for what he did.” Crimson says. “We just have to build the organization back up, get some funds, more sharks-”
Alessio sighs. “Crim, Moxxie-”
“Is dead to us!” Crimson says. “And when we see him again, he'll be dead to everyone else too.”
Alessio nods. “You should rest, Crim.” He says. “You'll never heal if you keep stressing yourself out like this.”
Crimson sighs. “I gave him everything, Al.”
“I know.” Alessio says. “And, I think he knows it too.”
Crimson doesn't respond, he only looks away from Alessio.
With nothing else to say, Alessio leaves his boyfriend in peace.
