“What the f*ck just happened?!” Blitz whispered as he dragged himself into the beat up van. He turned the key, listened to the engine sputter to life, and veered out of the fancy mansion’s driveway. His heart felt empty and his head was heavy with pain.
When he pulled into the parking lot of his office, he headed upstairs and crashed onto his desk, ignoring Moxxie’s attempts at getting his attention. Blitz grabbed a bottle of vodka from the mini fridge and chugged it. When that didn’t knock him out, he grabbed a second and followed it with a bottle of tranquilizers he hadn’t taken since he adopted Loona. Before he passed out, his last thought was that hopefully everyone would be okay without him. They will be. It’s clear I’m not wanted or needed. I just hope Mox and Mills find their footing elsewhere. Maybe Stolas…no, I can’t think like that. I need to sleep…
****
Blitz came to with a sharp slap. “I notice we don’t have the fancy book anymore. Did you not f*ck him well enough?” Loona asked him critically. He winced internally, thinking over the past however long it had been. At least 10 hours judging by the glare of the sun through the windows. As Blitz’s eyes started to refocus, he noticed Moxxie and Millie standing behind her looking…strange. Their faces had an expression he couldn’t place.
“You were right, Loony Toony. He wanted to get rid of me. We didn’t even get to the f*cking point of the evening. He took the book back, ended our deal, and gave me this dumb ass crystal.” he gestured half heartedly to the orange gem before throwing up in the nearest trash can.
Moxxie gasped. “He gave you an Asmodean crystal??”
“Yeah, that’s what he called it or something. I don’t f*cking know, I’m hungover and I still have some of those god damn tranquilizers in my system.”
“We can get to the mortal world legally, sir! No more sneaking around! I don’t even want to imagine what sort of favor he gave Asmodeus to get one for you.”
“Aren’t they usually restricted to lust demons?” Millie asked.
“Yes, honey. Normally only succubi and incubi get them to work on Earth. But you have one, sir! That’s one hell of a parting gift.”
“...why? Why would he give me something like this then cut me out?” Blitz murmured, curling in on himself. A few tears leaked out, which soon enough became a river pouring down his face. “f*ck!!” The group surrounding him backed up. In the end, it was Moxxie who made the suggestion, probably not suggesting Blitz to even consider.
“Sir, you need to rest. How about you let us handle the next mission and you go talk to Asmodeus about the crystal? You’re clearly not going to be a functional demon until you do.”
“Great idea! I’ll get cleaned up and see what sort of favor Stolas traded Asmodeus for the crystal. You guys go deal with our next target! I’ll be back in a jiff!” Blitz pulled out his phone and began to message Fizz. That’d be the easiest and probably fastest way to get an appointment with Asmodeus.
B: hay, FIzz, cna yu boke me an apointmeent wit ozzy? i nede to talk to hmi
F: First, learn to spell. Second, why the f*ck do you want an appointment with him?
B: stols gav me a krystl and cute me off. wana no wht it does
F: He gave you an Asmodean crystal. It’ll get you to the living world legally so you can keep killing and not get in trouble. They’re crazy difficult to get. Ozzie doesn’t give them to just anyone.
Blitz’s brain blue screened. This sounds like a great, and f*cking expensive, gift. So why did Stolas cut him off? Does he want favors other than sex? What can I give him though? What the f*ck does he want from me??
F: Blitz, you good? You just left me on read for a while.
B: i nede an apoinmennt wit yur boyfereind asap. wtf did stols do??
F: I can get you an appointment but don’t hold your breath. Ozzie probably won’t tell you what Stolas did to get a crystal for you. He’s big on consent and privacy and all that.
B: pls, i hvae to no
Blitz closed his texts, expecting Fizz to text him when he got a meeting for him and scrolled through his photos, finding one of him with a sleeping Stolas. Feeling tears burn his eyes for the second time that day, he threw the phone at the wall. He shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t think of Stolas; it hurt too damn much. But Blitz was powerless against his aching heart and spent the next hour in a sort of teary stupor analyzing every interaction he had ever had with Stolas til a portal opened. Hastily wiping his tears away and grabbing his now cracked phone, Blitz went through the portal, not really caring what would happen to him on the other side.
****
“Blitz, Fizzie said you wanted to talk to me and that it was urgent. What is it?” Asmodeus asked as soon as the portal behind Blitz dissipated.
“Stolas gave me an Asmodean crystal. I need to know why.” he croaked. Asmodeus looked down at him with raised eyebrows and crossed arms.
“You’ve been crying.” Asmodeus held up a hand to stop Blitz trying to defend himself. “Don’t deny it. I can sense your sadness and anguish. Not to mention the visible tear tracks on your face and your cracking voice. You’ve been crying for a while.”
“...stupid Deadly Sin powers. Fine, I’ve been crying! Stolas gave me one of your fancy ass crystals, ended our situation, and when I got mad at him for cutting me off like that he f*cking portaled me out of his house! Excuse me for being a little upset…” Blitz yelled before his voice softened at the end.
“You’re allowed to be upset, you know. You can even be more than a little upset. Look, I can’t tell you why Stolas did what he did and I can’t tell you what he gave me in exchange for the crystal for your business but I can give you some advice if you’re willing.”
“f*ck it, I’m desperate and if anyone in the seven rings can help me it’d be you. That’s as close to a compliment that you’re getting from me, by the way.”
Asmodeus chuckled a little. “You’re feisty. I guess I can see why Fizzie likes you. Well, I have three pieces of advice: let yourself feel, accept that some people care about you, and don’t drown yourself in your own pain. I can’t do more than give advice but I do hope it helps.”
“...you can’t tell me anything more?” Blitz pleaded? “Not even why he wanted one for me?”
“I can’t. It’s confidential.”
“I, I understand. Okay. You can send me back now.”
Asmodeus sighed with frustration. “Try to remember my advice, and give it a try.” He opened a portal and Blitz reentered his office to the sight of sheer chaos. There was a large cake, bottles of cheap wine, a collection of sh*tty horror and romance movies, a pillow fort, and a horse plush right in the middle of it all. Moxxie and Millie appeared to be doing some final adjustments and looked proud of themselves.
“...what the actual f*ck did I just walk into?” Blitz asked, scared for his own sake and hoping he wasn’t going to be sandwiched between the insufferably happy couple. There was a time he would’ve liked nothing more than that but right now all he wanted to do was go home and wallow in bottom drawer vodka while watching Spirit til he passed out.
“Well, Blitz, we didn’t know if you’d be successful with Ozzie so we decided to set something up to make you smile or to celebrate if you were. We have just about everything you could want after a break up here!” Millie exclaimed, clearly excited.
“...doesn’t count as a breakup, it clearly wasn’t a f*cking relationship. But fine. Will this get the two of you out of my f*cking ass?”
“Only if it helps,” they said in unison. Christ on a stick, they’re not gonna leave the f*ck alone. Guess I’m stuck with Thing 1 and Thing 2 until I convince them I’m fine or some bullsh*t.
“Ugh, I guess. What kind of cake did you get?”
“Chocolate with chocolate frosting.”
“f*ck it, I’m in. Junk food, cheap booze, and sh*tty movies sound good right now.” Blitz collapsed into the middle of the fort with a bottle and a large piece of cake. “Let’s go sh*tty horror. Not in the mood for anything gushy.”
Millie slipped the DVD in and the rest of the night passed in a pleasant blur.
****
Blitz woke up alone in the pillow fort, cuddled up to the new horse plushie and with a note taped to his forehead: “Gone on hit with Loona, get some rest - M&M”
He groaned and rubbed his face with a hand. All he wanted to do was go back to how things were before he developed feelings for Stolas. I didn’t even realize I was falling in love with him til the bastard saved me and my crew from DHORKS. And I must have had feelings sooner than that, too. But that f*cking asshole had to cut me out of his life; he clearly doesn’t want me anymore, if he ever really did. I thought there may have been something between us when he saved me or when he wanted me to save him from f*cking Striker. But I guess not. I should just move on. But how? I’ve f*cked up every romantic relationship I’ve been in and most of my friendships.
The sharp ring of the phone startled Blitz out of his overly analytical self hatred. “Blitz here.”
“Dude, you sound like you’re dead inside. What ran you over?” Fizz replied.
“Why do you even care?”
“You saved my life and you’re trying to be a better friend. Plus, Ozzie seemed really bothered after his meeting with you. Didn’t say sh*t but he just was off. Figured you must’ve been really f*cked up to affect him like that.”
Blitz moaned and banged his head on the desk. “Great, yet another person who hates me. And it happens to be the Deadly Sin who’s giving me and my crew our ability to travel to the living realm. f*ck.”
“Dude, he doesn't hate you. Let's focus on your bigger problem: what happened with Stolas. I get that Stolas ended things and that you cared about him but how exactly did this happen? Last I checked, he seemed to care about you from the way you described him.
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t.”
“...just tell me EXACTLY what happened, please, Blitz.” So Blitz explained the entire incident.
“You’re kidding me. Oy f*cking vey.”
“What!?” Blitz exclaimed.
“Did it ever occur to you that he was serious?”
“No. Why would he be?” Even Blitz could hear the very heavy and very frustrated sigh from Fizz at the blatant denial.
“You’re an idiot, and I mean that in the best way possible. Develop some self esteem for the love of Satan!”
“...you think he cares? Then, why do that?”
“I don’t know. Not a mind reader and he’s not my man. I’d say talk to him but I know that’s not your style. I’m willing to listen and to help. Just please don’t do anything stupid.”
“Thanks for helping my broken ass, Fizz. You’re a f*cking life saver.”
“You’re welcome but really, you’re okay. Not broken. Just really hurt,” he said. “You shouldn’t have to apologize for being hurt, only for hurting yourself and others.
Blitz burst into full blown sobs at that. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
